living your way. The way where you go to grade school, then college, then job, marriage, life. I tried having the job to prove my value, the job that told the world who I was, what I did to bring worth to my being here. Jobs that enriched people’s lives, through wellness, health, learning, art. Jobs that had me at a desk 90% of the time, staring straight into the abyss of constant ‘urgent’ emails, stressed that my immediate response was somehow not immediate enough. Slowly hunching into the computer screen, at attention with what was needed now and needed in six months, a year. Calendars now, calendars for then, jostling between the here and the later and the ‘if this happens’ and the ‘if that happens’ scenarios. Plan B’s and Z’s and everything in between. Juggling events/needs/orders/food/personalities/crank/tude/energies/stress/
All that
And then I was cancelled. I tried your way and was cancelled. I tried your world and was cancelled. I lost myself and found myself and was still cancelled.
It's a Process 